05.18.07
Deep thinking
When I was a teenager I used to listen to a song by my favorite Chinese singer Chiyi. There is a question raised in the song–Hapiness is when you have something to care about, or when you are completely care- free? (Excuse my bad translation, I’m out of college for a big while…)
The question has been in my head all these years, and I tend to believe that there is more happiness if one has less to care about. (Coming to think of it, this can be a perfect excuse for my keeping the minimum list of friends and relatives that I have contact with, instead of being accused as a bit anti-social…)
The thing is, I accidentally went against my own philosophy and caused myself a lot of pain.
As if I didn’t have enough to worry I had to buy a dog. Now she’s become something I care about and to make it worse, she is very sick.
Again last night we had to rush to the city to send her to “ICU”. We couldn’t just put her down because although she’s weak, there was still some sparks in her eyes and we had to give her a last chance.
Not sure if we were really helping her, or just prolonging her miserable life on earth.
There is much less drama in life than we think–Just because she met us and we gave her medical care she would eventually recover and not die in the pet store a week before? Or just because we wouldn’t give her up she would miraculously come back to life? Or just because we both strangely care so much about her it would make any difference? Just because we chose to have faith, then things would work out to reward us? I don;t think so. It’s not a movie.
Most of the time things just happen without any purpose.
But still, I really really hope she’ll make it, althoug I am not so sure anymore.
If one has to add a drama to this, it will just be from here since, I will never, never have a dog anymore.
And one more step towards my belief of less care, more happiness.