03.01.09
30 Things
The goofy boy Bradley said:”You should go out try to have some fun, because next year you will be ‘Oh My God!’” That triggers the crisis inside of me. But we didn’t find much fun on a strangely quiet Saturday night.
I have to thank Mira, my best friend, for the wonderful dinner and company.
My boss and ZY, for buying me a new phone.
Other than that it was an uneventful, crisis-felt birthday.
Silly things I found on internet–Just for fun:
30 Things Every Woman Should Have Before She Turns 30*
1. Clothes that fit the size she is now, not the size she was five years ago. —Size doesn’t matter.(Since it’s the same).Another site said You should dress to decency to show respectablility.I’d been cutting down micro mini-skirts and pants and short tank tops until I quit the day-to-day routine job and started going to the market most of the time.
2. A weekly income that covers the rent (or mortgage payment)—No income, rent is zero. I passed this one, still, sad fact.
3. An orgasm. —Yes
4. Always enough toilet paper–Yes
5. A hair stylist she trusts—Yes
6. A favorite song, porn site, image, movie or fantasy that always gets her in the mood–Song, although it changes all the time.
7. Health insurance—”No have”
8. A signature drink—Johnnie Walker Black label
9. A healthy relationship with her parents—Yes although I think I should care more.
10. Bras in the correct size—Difficult to find. Best I can do is to not fake using padded bras.
11. Enough alcohol in her home to offer drop-by guests a cocktail—Yes
12. An emergency hangover remedy—It’s just having control, to not get drunk elsewhere than my own home.
13. A voter registration card—What is it?
14. A wardrobe that includes the perfectly flattering little black dress, a great pair of heels, jeans that make her ass look great, and a cute hat that hides a bad hair day—Strictly speaking I don’t own any of this items.
15. A yearly appointment with her gynecologist—Maybe.
16. The name of reliable movers to give her friends when they ask for help relocating–”No have”
17. The gumption to ask a man out—Would have, but it doesn’t matter.
18. A group of girlfriends who get it—Yes and proud of it.
19. A set of tools (and the ability to use them…even if it’s just to hang a piece of art)—No, I can’t.
20. A balanced checkbook—It’s a joke right now.
21. No interest in men who just aren’t that into her—What I always said “I will be into you as much as you will be into me.”
22. A vacation to look forward to at least once a year—Perhaps
23. A good bullshit detector—How good is good. I just don’t take things seriously.
24. The courage to stand up for herself and her beliefs—Yes
25. A favorite sex position—Mm.
26. A set of hand towels so guests don’t have dry their hands on her bath towel (gross!)—Yes
27. Enough self-love to avoid and break off unhealthy friendships and relationships—Maybe
28. A commitment to exercise—Failed Miserably.”No have”
29. A retirement fund—”No have”
30. A great vibrator —Yes
30 things a Woman should DO before she is 30
1. Finish School (Yes, no matter how many millionaires are out there who didn’t… you should reasonably).—Yes and always was a top-notched student
2. Work (you don’t actually want to seat on your bum all day and wait for good things to just come to you now do you?)—working on it.
3. Save (yeah you are not allowed to spend it all) and invest—No savings, no investment.
4. Live alone—Not doing it and can’t do it.
5. Decide your faith (a woman should believe in something)—”No have”. Looking for one.
6. Fall in Love—Yes
7. Tell him—Always do.
8. Get laid—Yes.
9. Make friends with an older married woman—Looking for one, Right now I am the oldest married woman around me.
10. Know how to cook something… well (it will come in handy)—Soup.
11. Travel outside your immediate world…( yeah outside your country)—Did.
12. Learn how to drive—Did and undid.
13. Learn to swim—Did, but don’t think it’s enough to save my life.
14. Borrow Money—Did with small amount.
15. Pay it back (what did you think?.. that you could run off with it?…)—Always did.
16. Get a bank account—”No have”
17. Use it—How to use something you “No Have”?
18. Give away something useful/important.—Yes
19. Own a pet (you don’t want to test drive with your own kid now do you?)—Many.Current dog is spoiled. Not sure want kids anyway.
20. Say ‘Thank You’ (yes good manners do matter)—I am generous with that.
21. Apologise (more manners)—I would.
22. Say No! (For once in your life!)—Just did. Sometimes it’s not easy.
23. Cry till you feel better (you can’t bottle up those emotions for ever you know) preferably in the rain.—I don’t cry.
24. Sing to a child—Not yet.
25. Confront your worst fears—Not yet.
26. Realise you are not your body—My body is older. Wish it were the other way around.
27. Abandon self-doubt— Growing instead of Abandoning.
28. Write your own erotica—No. What for?
29. Learn a few choice phrases in French or Russian to use when flirting or angry.—No and I hate French.
30. Embrace change—So far only good change.